My absolute favorite!
Dear Robby:
There is this guy who writes a lot of articles about Nascar, and while I enjoy his writing, I have one problem with him. If I happen to read an email or article from him while I'm supporting my favorite driver by drinking Budweiser, well, it's kinda a delicate problem. You see, I crack up, and spit beer all over my computer. What's the best way to clean my computer after laughing like this?
Signed,
Still want to Drink & Read
Dear Still want to Drink & Read,
You just solved a mystery for me. My mom bought me a windshield wiper for my monitor a while back and she said, "You know what this is for". Not wanting to look naive, I played along and said, "yeah I know". Now
it all makes sense. I'll find out where she got it and send you one.
Dear Robby:
My girlfriend and I seem to fight every Sunday afternoon. I want to watch football, yet she insists on watching Nascar. Nascar is boring. I want to watch a real sport. What can I do to guarantee that she won't interfere with my football?
Signed,
Craving Control
Dear Craving,
Give me the phone number of this Goddess and I assure you that she will never bother you again.
Dear Robby:
I love Nascar. I am from Maine and my favorite driver is Ricky Craven. However,I do not feel secure enough in my manhood wearing "Tide" T-shirts around with my buddies. How can I convince Ricky to get a more masculine sponsor, like John Deere, or something?
Signed,
Hoping to turn the Tide
Dear Hoping,
I can think of about 10 million way$ you can convince Ricky and Cal Wells to change the car. However, girls like a guy who can do his own laundry. Use it as a marketing tool next time you are picking up girls in the bar. On second thought, get a Mark Martin shirt. Girls might like that a bit better.
.."Must have" racing advice..
Write to Dear Robby. What started as a joke in an article on TeamRacin.com has turned into an ongoing feature. Many readers have been writing in asking for advice on everything from control of the remote during races, to decorating rooms, to how to pick up girls at the track. E-mail Dear Robby with your question and most will get posted here, but all will get answered!! You can also fill out the Anonymous Form to reach Dear Robby. New posts will appear below and below that is the link to the original "Dear Robby" column as posted on TeamRacin.com.
My New Year's resolution is to get to a race and snatch Michael Waltrip and bring him home
to me. Just one problem he's married to Buffy and I'm engaged to my boyfriend, Dale.
So how can I get Michael to come back with me? Do you know of a good love potion? And
a way to hypnotize Buffy away from Michael? He!He!He!
Signed, Tweety Waltrip
Dear Tweety,
Being Italian, (Sicilian at that), I have been around many "discussions" that were being
held to "convince" someone of their true intentions. An offer they couldn't refuse, if you will.
So, let me say this. If Mikey had a race Horse instead of a race car, we would have something
to work with. Instead, try the "love potion" like you asked about. His teammate at DEI has
cases of it. Trust me, that stuff got me thru college! The more they drink it, the better I look!
As far as hypnotism, tell Mikey to check this out!!!
Dear Robby,
I wrote in a while back asking for help with my girlfriend and control of the remote.(Note:
his original letter is to the left) I took your advice and it worked great! However, I have
not heard from her since and I am a bit worried.
Signed, Craving but Caring
Dear Craving,
Don't you worry about her. She is just fine. In fact, she said to tell you that she says
"Hi".
Dear Robby,
For New Year's I decided to lose some weight. What do you think of Stacker 2, does it work?
Signed, Chubby in Cleveland
Dear Chubby,
Have you seen the commercials? Hammond, Hamilton and Sadler. These guys have never been
overweight in their lives! Now if Benny Parsons or Jimmy Spencer started pimping Stacker 2,
we could watch the results and see it work.
Dear Robby,
My favorite movie is "Days of Thunder". If you wrote a Nascar movie, who would be in it and what
would it be called?
Signed, I Love Cole Trickle
Dear Love,
I'm glad you asked. I have considered this many times actually. The name of the movie would
be, "The Greed for Speed!" It would star, myself, of course. The highlight of the movie,
and my life... would be the gratuitous love scene with myself, Brooke Gordon and Delana
Harvick. I have played out this scene over and over in my mind, many, many times. (For theatrical
purposes only, of course!).
Dear Robby,
What is your opinion on little kids at the races wearing Budweiser shirts, Viagra, or even Coors
Light? Don't you think that they shouldn't be wearing "adult" products at a young age?
Signed, Joe from Jacksonville
Dear Joe,
That is a very interesting question that got me thinking long and hard. Don't ever write to
me again Joe. Do you hear me??
The Article that started it all....
Dear Robby: Advice for the stars
You read alot these days about the stresses of life at the top. You hear of drivers struggling to maintain that public image. You see guys getting frustrated and tempers flaring. Who can they turn to for help? Dear Abby? No, they need someone who understands racing, understands life, and understands them. Hence, "Dear Robby" was born.
(Editor's Note: Dear Robby is to be taken in parody. Any results or consequences due
to following his advice are not our responsibility. He is not well, you have been warned!!)
