My absolute favorite!
Dear Robby:
There is this guy who writes a lot of articles about Nascar, and while I enjoy his writing, I have one problem with him. If I happen to read an email or article from him while I'm supporting my favorite driver by drinking Budweiser, well, it's kinda a delicate problem. You see, I crack up, and spit beer all over my computer. What's the best way to clean my computer after laughing like this?
Signed,
Still want to Drink & Read
Dear Still want to Drink & Read,
You just solved a mystery for me. My mom bought me a windshield wiper for my monitor a while back and she said, "You know what this is for". Not wanting to look naive, I played along and said, "yeah I know". Now
it all makes sense. I'll find out where she got it and send you one.
Dear Robby:
My girlfriend and I seem to fight every Sunday afternoon. I want to watch football, yet she insists on watching Nascar. Nascar is boring. I want to watch a real sport. What can I do to guarantee that she won't interfere with my football?
Signed,
Craving Control
Dear Craving,
Give me the phone number of this Goddess and I assure you that she will never bother you again.
Dear Robby:
I love Nascar. I am from Maine and my favorite driver is Ricky Craven. However,I do not feel secure enough in my manhood wearing "Tide" T-shirts around with my buddies. How can I convince Ricky to get a more masculine sponsor, like John Deere, or something?
Signed,
Hoping to turn the Tide
Dear Hoping,
I can think of about 10 million way$ you can convince Ricky and Cal Wells to change the car. However, girls like a guy who can do his own laundry. Use it as a marketing tool next time you are picking up girls in the bar. On second thought, get a Mark Martin shirt. Girls might like that a bit better.
.."Must have" racing advice..
Write to Dear Robby. What started as a joke in an article on TeamRacin.com has turned into an ongoing feature. Many readers have been writing in asking for advice on everything from control of the remote during races, to decorating rooms, to how to pick up girls at the track. E-mail Dear Robby with your question and most will get posted here, but all will get answered!! You can also fill out the Anonymous Form to reach Dear Robby. New posts will appear below and below that is the link to the original "Dear Robby" column as posted on TeamRacin.com.
There's something familiar about Miserable in Mooresville (Note: Miserable in Morresville was in the original Dear Robby column) ...hmmm..and he sounds like my kind of guy! How can I get him out of his basement and up to Staten Island? I've got a basement too!
Signed, Intrigued in Staten Island
Dear Intrigued,
It seems that a lot of people (ladies in particular) have written in for advice on how to get their favorite driver to hook up with them. With JR being quite the ladies' man, I would suggest this. They say that off of the track, there is something in the air with certain women that attracts JR. Namely, their ankles. Good luck!
Dear Robby,
I need advice. I am a Nascar addict and as you know, there are still nearly 6 weeks until racing starts again. I am having severe withdrawal symptoms at this point. I have been seen parked on the Turnpike watching traffic. I listen to the re-run of Bristol at night while I'm sleeping, with earphones on. I painted a big #3 on the sides of my lawn mower. You gotta help me.
Signed, Distraught Fan
Dear Distraught,
This is a very common syndrome, this time of year. I would suggest a little reverse psychology on yourself. Put in any tape from a TNT broadcasted race from this season and count the commercials. This should upset you to the point that by the time you calm down, we will already be racing in Atlanta, for the second time this year. Don't worry, I'll tape the races for you while you are "venting".
Dear Robby,
Do you think Jeff Gordon's association with Lowe's on Jimmie Johnson's car had anything to do with him dropping out of the True Value sponsored IROC series?
Signed, Conspiracy in California
Dear Conspiracy,
No!! It had about as much to do with it, as did his past terrible performance in IROC, IROC not inviting him last year, the "tough" schedule and..... Can I change my answer?
Dear Robby,
If the Nascar wives ran a race in their hubby's cars, who would win?
Signed, Loving Fast Women
Dear Loving,
This is not an easy task to calculate. I would say Brooke Gordon, because she , by far, has the best equipment. And the race car aint so bad either!
Dear Robby,
I was wondering if you would like to be my date for the Daytona 500? I have VIP tickets and all access passes and I can't find anyone to go.
Signed, Dateless in Daytona
Dear Dateless,
Let me get this straight.. You have VIP and all access?? and can't get anyone to go? You must be the nastiest, ugliest, most.... VIP?? Yes, I'll go with you!!
The Article that started it all....
Dear Robby: Advice for the stars
You read alot these days about the stresses of life at the top. You hear of drivers struggling to maintain that public image. You see guys getting frustrated and tempers flaring. Who can they turn to for help? Dear Abby? No, they need someone who understands racing, understands life, and understands them. Hence, "Dear Robby" was born.
(Editor's Note: Dear Robby is to be taken in parody. Any results or consequences due
to following his advice are not our responsibility. He is not well, you have been warned!!)
