Dear Robby:
There has been a lot of talk about the rescue crew's efforts (or lack thereof) after the "big one" this past weekend at Daytona. Couldn't they have gotten to Jarrett or Brett Bodine faster?
Signed,
Disappointed in Daytona
Dear Disappointed:
My "Inside" sources tell me that the fire fighters would have been there sooner, but ISC Security mistook their First Aid kit for a Cooler and detained each of them for questioning.
Dear Robby:
What did you think of Baseball's All-Star game ending in a tie as compared to the Pepsi 400 ending under yellow??
Signed,
Miffed in Milwaukee
Dear Miffed:
I don't know what to make of it, but I heard that Mike Helton and Gary Nelson were sitting with Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig during the game. Is stupidity contagious?
Dear Robby:
I see that some of the writers on ITPB and other sites refer to NASCAR as NA$CAR. I have seen NAShCar on Catchfence.com and even read an article on possible slogans for NASCAR. What other ways of saying/spelling NASCAR have you seen??
Signed,
Wanting to know in Idaho
Dear Wanting:
I have seen many references to NASCAR, some that I can not print here. These are my favorites:
CashCow (self explanatory)
NastyCar (self explanatory)
AssCar (Association of Supposed Stock Car Auto Racing)
Nashole (self explanatory)
But if I were to keep NASCAR spelled as is and give it a new meaning that TRULY defines it, it would be:
Not About Stock Competition, About Revenue
Dear Robby:
I read that Dale Jr. is not happy with his contract at DEI and wont re-sign it until some changes are made. Why does this sound insane to me?
Signed,
Confused and Caring
Dear C.C.:
This should help. This is an actual text of Jr's contract negotiations. I believe it took place in front of a mirror:
JR: Hey Dale, as far as that new contract goes, I aint signing it. Me and the Dirty Mo' Posse think it isn't quite fair.
JR: Well, that is the best we can do. No one is immune from change here at DEI, you said that yourself.
JR: I think I need more money. I deserve it.
JR: We can only afford so much, Jr. How about another perk instead?
JR: Well, I have a lifetime supply of Bud and unlimited cologne already.
JR: What if we get Playboy as an associate sponsor? Then you an Hef can hang out at the Mansion?
JR: Where do I sign???
Dear Robby:
Loved your Saturday Night Live/Jeopardy skit in the last column. How do you think the NASCAR folks would do at Wheel of Fortune??
Signed,
Chasing Vanna
Dear Chasing:
Good question. Let's check it out.
Pat Sajak (PS): Welcome to Wheel of Fortune. Tonight's guest's are Mike Helton (MH), President of NASCAR; Humpy Wheeler (HW), President of Lowe's Motor Speedway; and Kurt Busch (KB), or as the Indians call him "Putsfootinmouth"
(KB): Don't think I didn't hear that, Pat.
(Category is "Mike Helton")
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
(PS): Ok, Mike, give it a spin
(MH): Is there a "D"?
D _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
(MH): How about an "M"?
D_ M _ _ _ _ _ _ _ M _
(MH): I want to solve. Is it "DAMN ALL TEAMS"?? They are all crybabies anyhow.
(PS): Incorrect. Kurt..
(KB): How about a "U"??
DUM _ _ _ _ _ _ UM _
(KB): I got it. "DUMB AND PLUMP"!!!!
(PS): That is wrong too, although very funny. Humpy. You're up.
(HW): I'll take a "P".
DUMP _ _ _ _ _ UMP
(HW): Just like Kurt said about Robby Gordon at The Winston and what the fans think of Mike, "DUMP THE CHUMP" !!
(PS): Correct!! You go to the bonus round.
(Category is "Mike Helton's 2 favorite things")
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
(PS): Give me 3 consonants and 1 vowel.
(HW): W for Wheeler, N for NASCAR and D & E for Dale Earnhardt.
(PS): Let's see how you did.
_ _ EED _ ND _ _ WE _
(PS): You have 30 seconds , go…..
(HW): I am seeing it but I don't believe it. Has Mike come around? Are his visions really like mine? Can we finally be friends?? (buzzer sounds) "SPEED AND LOWES" . We have the same 2 favorite things!!!
(PS): I am sorry, that is incorrect. The correct answer is "GREED AND POWER"
That’s all for today….. see ya next week….
RobFaiella@InsideThePitBox.com
Got a question for Robby?
