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My absolute favorite!
Dear Robby:
There is this guy who writes a lot of articles about Nascar, and while I enjoy his writing, I have one problem with him. If I happen to read an email or article from him while I'm supporting my favorite driver by drinking Budweiser, well, it's kinda a delicate problem. You see, I crack up, and spit beer all over my computer. What's the best way to clean my computer after laughing like this?

Signed,
Still want to Drink & Read

Dear Still want to Drink & Read,
You just solved a mystery for me. My mom bought me a windshield wiper for my monitor a while back and she said, "You know what this is for". Not wanting to look naive, I played along and said, "yeah I know". Now it all makes sense. I'll find out where she got it and send you one.
Dear Robby:
My girlfriend and I seem to fight every Sunday afternoon. I want to watch football, yet she insists on watching Nascar. Nascar is boring. I want to watch a real sport. What can I do to guarantee that she won't interfere with my football?

Signed,
Craving Control

Dear Craving,
Give me the phone number of this Goddess and I assure you that she will never bother you again.
Dear Robby:
I love Nascar. I am from Maine and my favorite driver is Ricky Craven. However,I do not feel secure enough in my manhood wearing "Tide" T-shirts around with my buddies. How can I convince Ricky to get a more masculine sponsor, like John Deere, or something?

Signed,
Hoping to turn the Tide

Dear Hoping,
I can think of about 10 million way$ you can convince Ricky and Cal Wells to change the car. However, girls like a guy who can do his own laundry. Use it as a marketing tool next time you are picking up girls in the bar. On second thought, get a Mark Martin shirt. Girls might like that a bit better.
Feature
.."Must have" racing advice..
Write to Dear Robby. What started as a joke in an article on TeamRacin.com has turned into an ongoing feature. Many readers have been writing in asking for advice on everything from control of the remote during races, to decorating rooms, to how to pick up girls at the track. E-mail Dear Robby with your question and most will get posted here, but all will get answered!! You can also fill out the Anonymous Form to reach Dear Robby. New posts will appear below and below that is the link to the original "Dear Robby" column as posted on TeamRacin.com.


This week's Dear Robby

Check out ALL our sections and features here!!
There is plenty to keep you busy on our main page!

Dear Robby:

I think NASCAR tech did a segment on this but I (unfortunately) missed it-
how do the race teams account for the varying sizes of drivers while
maintaining consistency in the car weight? I mean, if you've got say, Kurt
Busch vs. Jimmy Spencer, you're talking a good 80-100 pound difference- and
it wouldn't be "fair" to let KB's team add various stuff to the car that
JS's couldn't just because he's so much bigger (since the cars have to
weigh the same in the end). I'm sure its a dumb question, but I am curious-

Signed,

Curious Casey

Dear Curious:

The actual rule states that each car must weigh 3400 pounds without the driver. So, the driver's weight is a big factor in determining what the car will weigh when it is on the track. The only way the teams can make up for having a heavier driver is to place his seat, and essentially him, as far back and left as possible to make up for their weight.

In Jimmy Spencer's case, the team showed up at Daytona with the seat mounted in the trunk next to the fuel filler. NASCAR disallowed it.


Dear Robby:

Racing at Bristol, where 20 cars wreck over a period of three hours, is good.

Racing at Daytona, where 20 cars wreck over a period of fifteen seconds, is bad.

Please explain.

Signed,

Nonplussed in New York

Dear plussed:

My friend Scott sums up restrictor plate races and the big one as follows:

It's like waiting for someone to get hit in the head with a baseball bat, you know it's coming, and you just wait and wait and then BLAM, there it is.

Speaking from experience and being hit in the head with a bat before, I would recommend helmets at all family reunions.


Dear Robby:

With everyone else having ideas for NASCAR people on game shows, I thought I'd join in on the fun. What do you think of Weakest Link, NASCAR style? Only instead of that pesky british host, someone like Tony Stewart could hurl out the insults. So, should I pitch it to network executives?

Signed,

Cracking Up in Kansas

Dear Cracking:

The Weakest Link, Millionaire, Fear Factor and others have all done celebrity editions and have only included one NASCAR person to my knowledge. Millionaire had Jeff Gordon on once and he was dumber than a stump. Actually, I take that back and apologize to any stumps that I may have offended.

Tony Stewart hosting The Weakest Link would probably be a great idea. It could consist of Gary Nelson, Mike Helton, Todd Bodine, Jimmy Spencer, A.J. Foyt, DW, Chris Myers and Me, Dear Robby!! All the questions would be based on NASCAR rules, history and stats.

As each player left the game, Tony would say things like:

(To Chris Myers) You are further proof that hairspray causes brain damage, Goodbye!

(To Mike Helton) You spoke over 500 words and didn't say a thing. No one has any clue what you are talking about, Goodbye!

(To Jimmy Spencer) Looks like Jimmy Spencer forgot, you are the weakest link, Goodbye!

(To Gary Nelson) Maybe you need a HANS device to keep your thoughts in your head, Goodbye!

(To Todd Bodine) Looks like you crashed out, once again. You are the weakest link, Goodbye!

(To A.J. Foyt) The show is over, go home and we will mail you a letter with your prize, Goodbye!

(To DW) You are the weakest Linkity Linkity Linkity, Goodbye!

And that would leave your winner as, ME!! I am the NASCAR Genius.


Dear Robby:

What is your opinion on NBC's 360° car?

Signed,

Famished for FOX

Dear Famished:

I think it is dangerous. Putting Wally Dallenbach out there in a Busch car, knowing that he will wreck and do several 360's is not a good idea. What kind of sick animals would do that to the other competitors?


That’s all for today….. see ya next week….


RobFaiella@InsideThePitBox.com

 

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The Article that started it all....

Dear Robby: Advice for the stars

You read alot these days about the stresses of life at the top. You hear of drivers struggling to maintain that public image. You see guys getting frustrated and tempers flaring. Who can they turn to for help? Dear Abby? No, they need someone who understands racing, understands life, and understands them. Hence, "Dear Robby" was born.

..More..

(Editor's Note: Dear Robby is to be taken in parody. Any results or consequences due to following his advice are not our responsibility. He is not well, you have been warned!!)
Dear Robby Submittal Form (anonymous)
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