Dear Robby!! - Inside The Pit Box

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My absolute favorite!
Dear Robby:
There is this guy who writes a lot of articles about Nascar, and while I enjoy his writing, I have one problem with him. If I happen to read an email or article from him while I'm supporting my favorite driver by drinking Budweiser, well, it's kinda a delicate problem. You see, I crack up, and spit beer all over my computer. What's the best way to clean my computer after laughing like this?

Signed,
Still want to Drink & Read

Dear Still want to Drink & Read,
You just solved a mystery for me. My mom bought me a windshield wiper for my monitor a while back and she said, "You know what this is for". Not wanting to look naive, I played along and said, "yeah I know". Now it all makes sense. I'll find out where she got it and send you one.

Dear Robby:
My girlfriend and I seem to fight every Sunday afternoon. I want to watch football, yet she insists on watching Nascar. Nascar is boring. I want to watch a real sport. What can I do to guarantee that she won't interfere with my football?

Signed,
Craving Control

Dear Craving,
Give me the phone number of this Goddess and I assure you that she will never bother you again.

Dear Robby:
I love Nascar. I am from Maine and my favorite driver is Ricky Craven. However,I do not feel secure enough in my manhood wearing "Tide" T-shirts around with my buddies. How can I convince Ricky to get a more masculine sponsor, like John Deere, or something?

Signed,
Hoping to turn the Tide

Dear Hoping,
I can think of about 10 million way$ you can convince Ricky and Cal Wells to change the car. However, girls like a guy who can do his own laundry. Use it as a marketing tool next time you are picking up girls in the bar. On second thought, get a Mark Martin shirt. Girls might like that a bit better.

.."Must have" racing advice..

Write to Dear Robby. What started as a joke in an article on TeamRacin.com has turned into an ongoing feature. Many readers have been writing in asking for advice on everything from control of the remote during races, to decorating rooms, to how to pick up girls at the track. E-mail Dear Robby with your question and most will get posted here, but all will get answered!! You can also fill out the Anonymous Form to reach Dear Robby. New posts will appear below and below that is the link to the original "Dear Robby" column as posted on TeamRacin.com.

This week's Dear Robby

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There is plenty to keep you busy on our main page!

Dear Robby:

Just a suggestion. Perhaps you should include a warning window at the start of your column, advising your readers that the probability of peeing their pants due to intense laughter is quite high.

Signed: Concerned for others

Dear Concerned:

I didn't think that picture of me in the header was THAT bad..... Thanks alot......

Dear Robby:

Why are the announcers in the booth so prejudiced against some of the drivers? I know they tend to focus on the more popular drivers, but when it comes to certain drivers, they have nothing nice to say and are usually blaming them for something and making them look bad. It makes me feel that if I am not rooting for Jeff or Jimmie or Junior I shouldn't even bother watching. How do we make them stop?

Signed: Krushed in Kalamazoo

Dear Krushed:

Make them stop, make them stop....I thought those were just the voices in my head saying that. Do you mean to tell me that you don't root for Jeff, Jimmie or Junior? What sick planet are you from?

Dear Robby:

I have recently won a cup race in my second start. I am also dating a Miss Winston. Well, she gave up her crown for me. Everyone tells me to talk to Jeff Gordon. Can you tell me why. Thank you, J---- McM---- (Name Censored) p.s. Please withhold my name. I don't want anyone to know I wrote you.

Signed: Wacky in Westport

Dear Wacky:

Where to begin? I am sure that your girlfriend seems sweet and loving, but, if she wasn't digging for gold, why the heck would she have chosen to be with you? Do you think Brooke picked Jeff for his charm? Look at Kurt Busch's trophy wife. What do you think she is in it for? Get a pre-nup!!

Speaking of Kurt, I couldn't help notice the resemblance in a recent commercial.....

Dear Robby:

With all the focus these days on safety, do you think we are getting carried away? Is it possible to go too far and add things that are actually useless or harmful??

Signed: Scared for Safety

Dear Scared:

Safety is a serious issue and I dont think you can ever go too far with it. However, I will say that I have found one piece of safety equipment to be completely useless. Ryan Newman's Head and Neck Restraint. Why? The dude has no neck. What is he trying to restrain?

Dear Robby:

I noticed that the NASCAR logo is made up of all 3 primary colors but only 2 secondary colors. I have heard that green is bad luck in racing, is that why green is missing from the logo? I do like the rainbow effect though!

Signed: Krazy in Key West

Dear Krazy:

I was recently in Key West and I dropped my car keys. Sideways informed me to just kick them back to Marathon and then pick them up. Not sure what he meant. Anyhow, I think the answer to the missing green is obvious. The France family has an obvious greed problem and has hoarded all the green, thinking it is money.

Dear Robby:

Larry Mac has his color coded charts each week on Totally NASCAR, that show us who has a shot at the Championship. Do you have any predictions?

Signed: Wants to know

Dear Wants:

I said at the beginning of the year and many time in between that Tony Stewart was going to win it this year. However, at this point it is a 3 man race. But, Jimmie and Mark are fading fast.... Here is my chart....

Speaking of Mark and Jimmie, I heard that the real problem at Talladega was not "Sticky steering" as Mark's team implied. Actually Mark had a sponsor appearance that morning and took some sponsor product about an hour before the race. Ever seen those commercials for "The Club"???

RobFaiella@InsideThePitBox.com

Got a question for Robby?

The Article that started it all....

Dear Robby: Advice for the stars

You read alot these days about the stresses of life at the top. You hear of drivers struggling to maintain that public image. You see guys getting frustrated and tempers flaring. Who can they turn to for help? Dear Abby? No, they need someone who understands racing, understands life, and understands them. Hence, "Dear Robby" was born.

..More..

(Editor's Note: Dear Robby is to be taken in parody. Any results or consequences due to following his advice are not our responsibility. He is not well, you have been warned!!)

Dear Robby Submittal Form (anonymous)
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